I found a poster about there, their, and they’re that I put up on my author page,
and I just couldn’t stop laughing about it. It got me thinking about spelling
errors from my eighth grade students and things I’ve seen on Facebook, and I
even did a little research to come up with a few others for this guest blog.
What you will see are some exceptional spelling gaffes, as well as some
occasionally sarcastic comments about them (okay, I admit it—I made sarcastic
comments for all of them). If you don’t chortle (a word I’ve always wanted to
use) at some of these, you’re taking life way too seriously.
1. “In
the movie, Harold looses a thumb in a work accident.” (Luckily, it only became
loose because losing it completely would have been a tragedy. It’s loses.)
2. “It
was nice to meat you.” (I can’t get the picture out of my head of this person
happily slapping his new acquaintance with a pork chop. It’s meet.)
3. “I’m
eating flaming young.” (This sounds cannibalistic, immoral, and dangerous to
me. It’s filet mignon.)
4. “Wow,
I’m hot. I can’t go through mini pulse at nineteen, can I?” (I’ve heard a person can have a mini pulse if
they’re nearly dead or suffering from hypothermia—but then the person certainly
wouldn’t be hot—so since she’s not old enough to be going through a life
change, she should call 911 because she’s nearly dead. It’s menopause.)
5. “Do
you think sex can be good without an organism?” (This is truly a profound
question, since an organism is a “contiguous living system” such as an animal
might have. I think my wife qualifies as an organism, so the answer for me is
no. It’s orgasm.)
6. “He’s
my altar eagle.” (Our national bird is
going to be sacrificed in a religious ceremony? It’s alter ego.)
7. “I
have a torn rotary cup.” (If the Rotary Club was missing a cup and you found it
in your shoulder, you would definitely need surgery. It’s rotator cuff.)
8. “She
has old timer’s disease.” (This is very non-specific and prejudicial…getting
old isn’t a disease; it’s just an unfortunate experience. It’s Alzheimer’s disease.)
9. “Your
dairy air looks rather attractive from my point of view.” (I think this is
supposed to be a weird compliment, but I’ve lived near a dairy farm and dairy
air smells like manure. Isn’t that ironic? It’s derriere.)
10. “They
said their was no dairy in the yogurt, but I’m certain their was, and I’m lack
toe tolerant.” (Forget about the misspelling of their—two times—because we all know 50% of the population can’t
spell that word. My sincere question is what does dairy have to do with the
person’s tolerance of people with missing toes? It’s lactose intolerant.)
11. “After
all the candy I ate, I think I could die of beeties.” (Beeties isn’t even a word—which
makes it very difficult to make even a semi-humorous comment—but regardless,
I’m certain candy doesn’t lead to death by beeties. It’s diabetes.)
12. “Obama
is the apidimi of what a black man is suppose to be.” (Okay, it’s supposed to
be supposed to, and the only reason I’m
focusing on that is because apidimi
is spelled so poorly that I can’t even think of how to spell it. My spell check
for that remarkable letter arrangement says epidemic,
so I’m beginning to think bad spelling is an epidemic. It’s epitome.)
13. “I’m not
Willy Wonka. I don’t sugar code things.” (I have watched Willy Wonka and the
Chocolate Factory because there are no vampires, but apparently Willy was doing
a lot of things in secret that I never noticed, including encoding messages in
his sweet things. Hmmm. It’s sugar coat.)
14. “I need
a shofar.” (You need a dictionary. It’s chauffeur.)
15. “Just
because I’m white doesn’t mean I can’t have corn roads in my hair, right?” (I
think people of all colors should be allowed to have corn roads, wheat streets,
and sugar cane lanes. What’s wrong with that? It’s cornrows.)
16. “Even if
I have to wait a year, I’d feel I made it as an aurthur if Oprah read my book.”
(Getting Oprah to read your book would definitely be worth waiting a whole
year, but what’s an aurthur? It’s author.)
17. “We just
need to teach are children reading, writing, and arithatic.” (And spelling…and
the difference between linking verbs and possessive pronouns. It’s our and arithmetic.)
18. “I just
took it for granite.” (Do people often need granite? Do they sometimes
misidentify things as granite? It’s granted.)
If you chortled a couple of times because of this
guest blog post, feel free to join my own blog at http://jefflaferney.blogspot.com/ or check out my aurthur page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/authorJeffLaFerney.
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